The Flow of Self - Part 1

This conversation was moved to Meaningful Dialog.

Alex Wrote:

The flow concept is one you have discussed a lot. I myself have my own form of flow.
If 'you' are not in control during flow (Which means almost all of the time nowadays, correct?) then I believe you say your Bigger You is in control. In my zen meditation I have had some experiences where I saw how *I* in the classical sense don't exist the way I thought I did. I saw myself much more enmeshed with everything else. I saw how the things I do to others can hurt them, and vice versa. It is hard to explain. But the point is, more than I have felt in a long time I saw the value in the concept of selflessness. To me selflessness isn't about being a sacrificial lamb or whatever, but about what I saw from my meditation, that my self is poorly defined ANYWAY. I know deliberate creators generally see their life as wholy THEIR CHOICE, so this is a bit different. I saw that I have the power to hurt the world or make it better. I saw that every little thing I do is effecting the whole. AND THAT MY WHOLE LIFE COULDN'T BE WHAT IT IS, without the effect of others. Think about it: how could you be Andrew without the rest of existences interaction with you every minute of every day. Without plants, you'd have no air, without farmers there'd be no food, without clothes makers, there'd be no clothes. So in a real way you are enmeshed with them.

Andrew Responds:

I can be Andrew without others. I EXIST. Prime knovium. However, this state my get a little boring after awhile, possibly, because, well, hmmm... essences, but this isn't the time or place to discuss those.

I agree with your last statement about needing plants for air. Yes, but this is only true within the physical context we are currently in. In my ultimate context, I do not need air, or food, or clothes. In fact, I don't really "need" clothes here, it's just a courtesy to others. This is why I'm really advocating communication, because I do believe we need to start listening and respecting one another so we can learn to live in harmony as a family on this planet we find ourselves. However, you are still you, and I am still me. I, in my perspective, and experience, find that there is no ultimate One. There is not an ultimate Bigger Self that encapsulates all other Bigger Selves.

Now... within my Bigger Self there are other distinct personalities. One, for example, is my next lifetime. In my next lifetime, I remember this one, and directly (physically) and indirectly interact with my previous lifetime (this one), which has happened already, and will probably happen again. There is a Bigger Self to my most direct Bigger Self that is a highly female personality. Delicious. I love me. LOL.

I understand what you are saying about hurting another hurts all. If I pollute the air or water, I hurt all. Yes, that is true within the physical context. That is not necessarily true within the core reality. I agree that my life is connected to all other beings that have directly and indirectly interacted with my life, which really includes everyone on the planet today, and all beings in the past, and future... but... I EXIST. I AM CONSCIOUSNESS. I exist outside this physical life time. My personality exists outside this physical time and space. I EXIST. So, really this connection you are speaking of is concerned with the physical circumstances of our lives, but not the internal reality of our existence. A subtle different, I admit.


Alex Wrote:

To me when I am in a flow state, I am not in control, I have let-go of expectation, in letting-go I am even letting-go of my self. Does that make sense? I know you are very self-oriented. Have you had any inklings that the boundaries of your self are different than what the normal person thinks they are? Do you see yourself as connected to the world intimately?

When you let-go in flow, do you let-go of the self, that you learned in life to defend?

Andrew Responds:

I prefer to keep myself. I like Who I AM. Even if this Andrew Wilcox personality is simply a toy of my Bigger Self, then my Bigger Self really likes to play with this toy. However, in my flow, and in my connection, and in my understanding and acceptance of Who I AM, this distinction is growing thin. I'm not concerned with becoming One with everything that's "out there". There's a lot "out there" that I don't like. There are individual personalities and bigger beings that are my sworn enemies (Choices are choices. Consciousness can choose to be an enemy, can choose to seek to harm another.) It took me a long time to face this fact, because it wasn't the "best feeling thought". My Bigger Self went round and round with me on this. It brought me experience, understanding, knowledge, evidence, until I had to face it, and when I did, my shoulder finally healed. Ok, details.

I have directly personal experience that Abraham was setting intentions against me. And, these intentions were manifesting as pain within my shoulder. And, this pain would flare up any time I tired to "connect" with Who I AM, thus keeping me in a cycle of disconnection. Now, how did this happen? By choosing to believe that Abraham was who they claim to be (i.e. highest whatever), then I am indirectly saying they get to create my reality, which means I am indirectly agreeing to any and all intentions they set toward me. This was NOT easy to face. I didn't believe. I couldn't believe it. BUT, I have the personal, physical life experience that is undeniable to me. Can I prove it to anyone else? No, but I can now point out contradictions and errors in their teachings that others might find useful, so I do. When I faced what my Bigger Self was telling me, when I agreed with ME, my shoulder healed, very quickly, because I was able to finally remove the thoughts forms inserted there, and allow it to return to its natural state.


Alex Wrote:

A final question:
If your life is deliberate, if life is taken care of, if you are letting-go, then what do you need the self for?

Andrew Responds:

I love me. I can define this individual personality as a collection of personal preferences. ME, the all of me, may like to put this personality on once in awhile and take a stroll around the block. There are only things Andrew Wilcox can experience, because of who Andrew Wilcox is, and was, and will be.


Alex Wrote:

Ok, I can see how this can be slightly confusing. Let me be more specific.

I am not suggesting becoming a doormat, lol. Just trying to express some experiences. The main one being that the more you let-go, the more you let-go, the more you let-go. Have you not noticed that the more you let-go, the better it gets?

Andrew Responds:

The more I let-go and allow ME to be ME and flow into ME, then yes, the better it gets. I have no intention or desire to let-go for others and their intentions and their desires, unless they are in alignment with Who I Am, and can share-the-bliss, so to speak. Not all beings and consciousness can, as is demonstrated on this planet.