Sunday, March 29, 2009

Why I Deal Abuse to Abusers

From my perspective, in my opinion, in following what feels good to me, in living up to Who I AM, this is my ONLY option.

Abusers always lie. Abusers are so wrapped up in their own internal drama that they refuse to listen to any and all avenues of communication, and even go so far as to use any attempted communication as more REASON and EXCUSE to continue the abuse. Abusers have ONE agenda and that is to force change upon their target. Abusers will use ANY and ALL methods to force that change. They will ignore communication. They will ignore screams. They will ignore pleas. They will use physical violence if their verbal assaults are not succumbed to.

I have tolerated abuse in many forms and fashion for most of my life. I have been a very nice, considerate, thoughtful, understanding individual. In my research of being abused, I have found no amount of niceness or understanding or attempted communication will make the abuse stop. None. My only perceived option, FOR ME, is to retaliate has HARD and as VICIOUS and as SLOWLY PAINFUL as I can. This is MY only option. I would rather DIE or rot in prison than tolerate abuse.

I AM willing to return to DECENT COMMUNICATION with any and all abusers which I have identified in my experience. And yes, my identification of an abuser is my SUBJECTIVE perspective, but I back this perspective up with actual tangible evidence, which anyone and everyone can observe, and make up their own minds about.

To return to DECENT COMMUNICATION, we must address the initial roots of the abuse. We must come to understanding about what I perceive as abuse, and discuss solutions. We may or may not come to agreements for further communication, but at very least, we can agree to stay very far away from one another. I DO NOT ABUSE THOSE WHO DO NOT ABUSE ME, and if someone feels that I am abusing them, who is not abusing me, I WILL LISTEN and attempt to come to some understanding and agreement. I WANT YOU TO EXPRESS WHO YOU ARE. If you perceive abuse from me, when you are not abusing me, I need to know, because I may be unaware of what you find painful or hurtful. I may or may not be able to adapt to your needs. If I can, I will. If I cannot, I will make sure that I stay out of your way, to the best of my ability.

I will use any means necessary to abuse my abusers in as painful and agonizing a way as I can possibly dream up. I will use knives, bats, and guns if necessary.

But, my PREFERRED interaction is MEANINGFUL DIALOG, which stems from respect, listening, thinking, observing, and understanding, which I offer to ANYONE no matter what skin color they have, no matter what their personal preferences are, no matter what hair-do they find joyful to them.


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